Tuesday, May 09, 2006

My Hair Acts Too, or, I'm bored in Michigan

Sometimes when I'm feeling caged in and spunky, I like to screw with my hair in the mirror and create different characters. I mean, we've all done that, right guys? Guys? Anyway, I thought I'd take you along for the ride.

"The Ryu Hayabusa" or "The Gay Rapist"


"Disaster" or "3 1/2 Minutes with the Gay Rapist"


"The Gentleman Caller" or "Kissable, Aren't I?"


"Paper Mister?"


"Angry Euro Star" or "Michigan Gas Station Attendant"


It is now clear who the "office card" is at the copy place. It is the younger sister, a girl called Amanda, of one of the scanners. She actually isn't all that unfunny. An exchange I witnessed:

AMANDA: I don't know what kind of drugs she be doin', but she was foamin' out da mouth.

SISTER: Nawww.

AMANDA: (with studied timing) FOAMIN'....OUT...DA...MOUTH.

(HOWLS OF LAUGHTER)

AMANDA: And don't you take any more of my candies. Because I WILL sue you.

SISTER: Shut up.

AMANDA: I will. I sue you for stress in the workplace.

SISTER: Nawww.

AMANDA: IN...THE...WORKPLACE.

I think I'll miss these people.

4 comments:

John said...

#3: "Shop smart. Shop S-Mart."

Foxy said...

The Angry Redneck
The Premature Ejaculator
The Thomas C. Howell
The Boyfriend Of Rosie's Character In That TV movie Where She Played the Tard Who Rides The Bus
Captain Gabay Circa 1990.

Gabe said...

"The Boyfriend of Rosie's Character In That Movie Where She Played the Tard Who Rides the Bus"

I wish I had thought of that just for the way it's worded.

It's a trick. Get an axe.

Timothy said...

please photograph your new michigan friends before leaving, even if you have to stage them beating you to death. WITH...A..TONER..CARTRIDGE.

cheers on all the good writing and adventures. and for raping yourself in the name of a good photo.