Monday, May 22, 2006

Better late than never

Yours truly, the notorious G-A-B-E, hopped a bus to Pennsylvania to visit the rest of the G-Unit (all of my siblings and I have names that start with G. Shut up). The first order of business was to pick up my mother's belated Mother's Day gift, a car kit for the XM radio I got her for her birthday. Little did I know that the mission would be compromised by my mom's need to pick up a new frying pan, a task that had my sister Gracey and my brother Gunner and I trapped in the pan aisle, a strange, magical place where everything does the same basic thing yet the decision regarding which pan to choose takes a half hour.

Walmart, K-Mart, S-Mart, Target, Pennypincher's, Radio Shack, Stereo Hut, Circuit City, Motherboard one had the simple XM accessory I was looking for. Defeated, we looked for new feet. Defeated, I decided that I'd just order the item online, thereby rendering my trip to Pennsylvania more of a lark. Like this one:

All for me sainted mudder, who went to the Sean Penn school of photo posing:

This is why I love my mom: I told her the old joke about the penguin driving around in the desert. His car breaks down, but, luckily, it does so just outside a mechanic's garage. The mechanic tells the penguin that it's going to take awhile. The penguin panics, "I'm a penguin!" he says "It's far too hot out here for me!" The mechanic calmly points out that there's an ice cream shop just across the street. Delighted, the penguin goes to the ice cream parlor and loads up on vanilla ice cream, but, due to his unfortunate inability to manipulate a spoon with his flippers, gets ice cream all over himself. It cools him off, so he doesn't worry about it. He looks at the clock and decides it's time to see if the mechanic is ready for him. So, he returns to the garage, covered in vanilla ice cream. He asks the mechanic, "so, what's wrong with my car?" The mechanic replies, "looks like you blew a seal." The penguin, embarrassed, says, "no, it's just ice cream."

After hearing this story about a penguin thinking he was mistakenly blamed for fellating a fellow aquatic animal, my mother says, "AWWWWWWW, that's so CUTE!"

There was also a rainbow sighting in PA off of the back deck:

And, for the first time in my life, I believe, I finally beat Super Mario Bros. I can rest in peace.

Ghosts N' Goblins will have to wait for my next visit.


Hackett said...

I do remember beating ghosts n; goblins, but i can't remember how many years, YEARS!, it took.

Amanda said...

Gaaaahhhh! I totally forgot that they immediately make you embark on a whole new quest as soon as the Princess gets saved. What bullshit.

Super Mario 2, now that game had a rewarding end sequence. Remember? I used to crank the sound way up on the part where Mario was sleeping and it was revealed that the entire adventure had been a dream. Aaahhhh I loved that.

Foxy said...

I found the joke adorable. Maybe I am your mother.

Kath said...

i'm jealous that someone named foxy reads your blog. i can't believe gra-ey isn't blonde anymore. sad.

Kath said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Gabe said...

i deleted a redundant comment. Also, it's true: Foxy is my mother.

John said...

ooh, did you and your siblings play Real Life Super Mario, too? Where one sibling gets to be Mario, and he gets to throw fire/turtle shells, and the other sibling gets be Count Koopa and throw a box of mallets?

Foxy said...

I told this joke to myself today at the gym. I laughed and laughed.

Hackett said...

That's probably the best super power I've ever heard of.