Friday, May 05, 2006

Me fail the mission? That's unpossible.

I attended the star-studded Michigan premiere of MI: 3 last night, and I was pleased to see ones of tens of people enjoying the first entry in the race for summer blockbuster. Now, it being MI: 3, I was disappointed to find that Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones were nowhere to be found in the picture. Too many catchy abbreviations, America. Let's use actual language, shall we?

In short, Mission Impossible 3 entertained, but seemed like a giant mediocrity that was cobbled together at the last minute and at very little expense. As soon as the opening credits start, you can't help but wonder what sort of hurry the editor was in and what other (read: better) project she had on tap. The plot seems stolen from several movies (I kept thinking True Lies without, you know, all the humor) yet, as I've already stated, there DO happen to be some exciting, inspired moments. Inpependent of those rare exceptions, everything else in the film is bland. And I wouldn't even call it Mission Impossible so much as Mission Doable, but Highly Unlikely. The supposed trickiest and most dangerous part of the mission is omitted from the film. All we get to see is the aftermath. It's equivalent to seeing Luke pilot his ship into the Deathstar from afar, then cutting to the rebel base where we see the leaders say, "I hope he makes it," then cutting to Luke's ship exiting the Deathstar moments after it's already exploded. What the? Isn't there a middle part?

The most striking aspect to the movie is how few people were in the theatre. We don't get to feel it in New York, but in places like Michigan or Pennsylvania, theatres are hurting. I couldn't help but think that the future is bleak for the motion picture industry and soon, the only lucrative place to maintain a theatre is going to be the metropolis. These regional places will simply fade away. So, you think it's a bitch seeing a movie in Manhattan now, wait a few years. And be prepared to pay thirty dollars.

Final thought: I could watch Tom Cruise run around all day. Nobody does action like him.


Foxy said...

Final thought: You are gayer than I am.

Gabe said...

You SO wish that were true. Hey, wait a second....