Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Enough.



Look, I love jokes. I make jokes every second of every day because I'm incapable of dealing seriously with my life. But the Sarah Palin shit has to stop. Political satire is a tried and true American right and tradition, but making fun of Sarah Palin is counterproductive. She is a dangerously incompetent leader of a practically secessionist state. Making ironic dolls of her isn't helping. Because most of America don't get irony, folks. I'd love to go to every Williamsburg Halloween party and smack each Sarah Palin-costumed dummy in the face, partly because of how trite they're being but mostly because WE DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW. Contributing to the campaign cuteness of a right-wing nutjob is only fueling a fire that is already ablaze with lies about Obama being a Muslim and a terrorist. Sarah Palin needs to be seen as less of a joke and more of a threat.

Also, McCain has the ol' Popeye chin. Don't make a doll of that. Please.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I'll bet you drove the little boys wild

Every now and again, this song pops into my head. At long last, I looked it up.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Occupational Hazards

Dear prospective employer,

I understand that it is the fashion nowadays to Google a potential employee's name and perform what amounts to a virtual background check. Fair enough. However, I also know that is the fashion nowadays for most people not to get jokes. In fact, most things done in humor have to be explained lest anyone be offended.

I therefore offer this explanation of this blog's content: it's a joke, stupid.

Now stop looking me up on Facebook and get to work.


Yours,

Gabe

Monday, October 13, 2008

I put the twit in Twitter

Silvasurfer @ BossOfYou I'm told I have to go about an hour ago from NYjail.gov

Silvasurfer @ BossOfYou Again, my sincerest apologies for any damage I may have caused in last night's incident. My only hope is about an hour ago from NYjail.gov

Silvasurfer I'M BCK MOFOS!!!! YOU cnt FRIE me I FIRE uuuuuuuu 5:26 AM from PharmaCom.net

Silvasurfer @ BossOfYou oh you aksed fr it Phil 3:52 AM from FreeWeb.net

Silvasurfer that day is done 2:47 AM from FreeWeb.net

Silvasurfer give a shit 1:33 AM from FreeWeb.net

Silvasurfer i c 1:33 AM from FreeWeb.net

Silvasurfer happened?,. 1:32 AM from FreeWeb.net

Silvasurfer what happened? I mean, what 1:32 AM from FreeWeb.net

Silvasurfer LOLLLLL!!!! HAHHA!!! 9:45 PM from FreeWeb.net

Silvasurfer LOL! WASSUP, INTERWEBZ?! 9:05 PM from FreeWeb.net

Silvasurfer looking for answers at the bottom of a whiskey bottle. 7:43 PM from FreeWeb.net

Silvasurfer doesn't need this place. 5:33 PM from mobile device

Silvasurfer @ BossOfYou I apologize for any undue sense of familiarity and will have my desk cleared post haste. 5:15 PM from PharmaCom.net

Silvasurfer @ BossOfYou Phil, what is UP with this, man? I thought we was Coo De La? 5:13 PM from PharmaCom.net

Silvasurfer thinks he might've lost his job. WTF? 5:12 PM from PharmaCom.net

Silvasurfer just got a rather curious email! :( 4:56 PM from PharmaCom.net

Silvasurfer is PSYCHED for the weekend!!! 3:23 PM from PharmaCom.net

Silvasurfer is that cat's pajamas, LOL! 9:56 AM from PharmaCom.net

Friday, October 10, 2008

Shimmy shimmy coco pop

On Irving Place, awaiting an audition slot, I watched some black teenage boys ogling some black teenage girls playing Double Dutch. The girls gracefully jumped in between the spiraling ropes and skipped joyfully to the rhythm of clapping hands. Every now and again, a boy would infuse himself into the whirling twine and bring everything to a jarring stop. Laughter all around. I then turned around to the library display case behind me and saw this:



Fitting.