Friday, October 12, 2007

About average

I am wonderfully and perfectly average. I am of average height, and for that height, I am the average weight. There are six possible genotypes for the eye color brown (as opposed to a mere two genotypes for blue and green), and, as my eyes are brown, I'm in the majority. There is nothing remarkable, rogue, diverse, interesting, shocking, eye-catching, breathtaking, novel, or exceptional about me. I'm the consummate Everyman.

And yet, despite how boring that may seem, I feel incredibly lucky. Most things we encounter every day are catered to the average person. I can slip into a subway seat perfectly and when I have to stand, the overhead bars are at just the right height. Clothing stores always have my pants size. I can remain anonymous at almost every thinkable social gathering. I can be subsumed into the masses. I can disappear.

And yet, in the face in the comfort this gives me, I am constantly fighting this anonymity. I want people to look at me. I want to be exceptional. I want to leave a gaping hole in my wake when I leave the room. I want people to notice.

Still, regardless of how much I might struggle and flail and dig and shout, the most I could achieve, the most anyone can achieve, is to be slightly above average. Only slightly.

That makes me smile.


mugwatch said...

Your eyes are actually greenish on the outside and "tigers-eye brown" on the inside. I'm pretty sure that sets you apart.

D.W. said...

How about those blazing red cheeks. Those are plenty distinguishable.

Plus, how many people have the insatiable hunger for eighty year old Mexican man penis like you? That pretty well sets you apart from the pack.

So don't be glum, chum.

Kath said...

I definitely cannot top what his magesty Davey Jones wrote. So I will simply second it. Well done, Davey. I think of you whenever I drink milk.

Gabe said...

I DO loves me some Mexican man penis. Muy fuerte, muy suculento.

Hackett said...

I guess you're right. You are pretty normal... for a beautiful man!

JCN said...

Did the man put his hand in your mouth today?