Tuesday, August 14, 2007

"Am I right or Amarilla?...

...man this song's a killa dilla!"

There's a Tom & Jerry cartoon called Texas Tom in which the song "If You're Ever Down in Texas, Look Me Up" makes an appearance. I've been humming this song to myself since I was eight years old, and only yesterday did I realize that the lyric above is said the way it is. In my head was:

"Am I right or am I rilla?"

Which makes little to no sense. The lyric is actually a pretty clever pun about Texas:

"Am I right or Amarilla?"

Conceding, of course, the pronunciation of "Amarillo" as "Amarilla." It seems an easy mistake to make. When I was eight, I didn't know anything about Amarillo, Texas. Now that I have met friends like Davey Jones and Sam Douglas and, as a result, have been beaten to unconsciousness with a map of Texas, I get the joke. But it led me to wonder what other song lyrics I have horribly wrong.

Seal's "Kiss from a Rose":

I always thought the hook line went "I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grave." Admittedly, it's a little morbid. You might as well say "kissing you is like hanging out in a cemetery." In fact, several lyrics sites cite this as the correct line, so I'm not sure. The most prominent "correct" line I can find is: "I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey," which makes even less sense. I guess it conjures imagery of, perhaps, the ocean on a bleak afternoon, each melancholy crest lapping contemptuously at a solitary rose discarded in the sand, its petals now faded with the incessant torture of love and love unrequited. But fuck that, I don't have time for poetry.

Tenacious D's "Fuck Her Gently":

A romantic at heart, I used to sing this song to myself all the time. Alone. In my room. I was convinced that at one point Jack Black croons "and fuckin give her some smooth juice too." I assumed this colorful phrasing had something to do with semen or...well, semen. It completely clashed with the sentiment of the song, and I doubt "fucking her gently" included "spilling one in her mug." It was only when Kath corrected me that I discovered the true line: "and fuckin give her some smooches too." Clearly, my mistake.

AC/DC's "Thunderstruck":

When I was 13, I mumbled over the end of one of the lines which goes "could I come again please?" simply because it sounded an awful lot like "could you suck up some bees?" and that didn't sound very rock n' roll. And having no real knowledge of the slang for ejaculation, I just grunted and made devil horns with my fingers. This kind of behavior, coupled with red cheeks and a mullet, contributed to my being wholly unappealing to girls. Honestly, I looked like Billy Ray Cyrus' fat nephew.

Does anyone else have mistaken lyrics they'd like to share?

I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey


D.W. said...

In fact, lots of people in Texas actually do pronounce it "Amarilla." Including most of the people I've met in Amarillo.

Except for the Mexicans.

- D

Boogie Train said...

When I was younger I thought Annie Lennox's Sweet Dreams were made of steel. You know, I figured it's a durable metal.

Hackett said...

I kinda grew up near Venice, wherein Vaporettos were the transpo of choice, so I used to think Sade was singing about an exceptionally gentle ride on one of these water taxis in "Smooth Vaporetto". It was, however, "Smooth Operator".

The Jersey Hacketts (cousins) are the reasons for many good times in my childhood memory, as well as many humiliating ones, the peak being when my cousin Maureen threatened to have a Pube Party for me when I turned 13. Mild in comparisson, but still real to me, dammit (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvTNyKIGXiI) is when we were watching Karate Kid 2. During Peter Cetera's theme "Glory of Love", i asked my cousins "Who is Yurahna?" They laughed at me unmerciful! I thought Peter was singing "I am a man who will fight for Yurahna" when he was actually extolling his willingness to "fight for your honor." Scarred for life, obviously.

JCN said...

Lennon & McCartney's timeless "Pay the Black Rider." Despite mention after mention of a man trying to write a book, eight-year old John was fucking sure this was a reference to all those dead and damned kings from Tolkien.

Dark childhood!

Amanda said...

My baby sister had a lot of true gems when she was growing up. Luckily, I was nine years older than her and fully capable of documenting her blunders. The ones I remember right now:

From Simon and Garfunkel, "Cecilia, you're breaking my harp, you're shaking my carpet out, baby."

In "My Mama Done Told Me," the line "A man is a two-face" became "A man is a toothpaste."


Kath said...

Smooth Juice = my next online dating handle.

Matthew said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matthew said...

Jimmy MacDonald's retarded little brother Allen thought the lyrics to Metallica's "One" were, well, he didn't know what they were, and used to just stand there and headbang and go "Da na-na na, da na-na na!" over and over. Yes. I have seen that TV show. FILE UNDER: Funny because true.