Here's the scoop. It has long been believed that out of chaos blooms creation. There's a sort of sinister beauty in destruction, seeing hearts rended apart only to reveal a deeper heart that burns like hot fucking magma.
It turns out that the world is not out to get me. If only I had seen that sooner. How could I become so bitter, so negative, when all I had inside me was nothing but the purest, whitest love. If that love could even possibly exist, on any planet, in any universe, then how could I even entertain the notion that all I had was contempt, disdain, and fear. And it IS fear. Everything I ever feared came true on a single day in April and it happened because I assumed it would.
As I walked into work today, I realized that people beam when they see me. That only happens when I'm beaming at them. I have a new sense of faith that I've never, EVER, experienced before. And it isn't a faith in a god or an idea or an idol. It's faith in myself.
Now don't worry. I haven't turned soft on you. I'm confident in myself and I'm mad about it. It's amazing. It's this aggressive desire to make people understand how awesome I can be. Chances are, if you're my friend, you already know that.
I've always prided myself on being humble. But that humbleness became humility, and that humility became self-hate. As I write this, I weap, but not because I fear or pine for a better life, but because for the first time in my life I really know I can do it.
Friends of Davey Jones is back. And it's going to be on stage very soon.