Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Back with a vengeance

Here's the scoop. It has long been believed that out of chaos blooms creation. There's a sort of sinister beauty in destruction, seeing hearts rended apart only to reveal a deeper heart that burns like hot fucking magma.

It turns out that the world is not out to get me. If only I had seen that sooner. How could I become so bitter, so negative, when all I had inside me was nothing but the purest, whitest love. If that love could even possibly exist, on any planet, in any universe, then how could I even entertain the notion that all I had was contempt, disdain, and fear. And it IS fear. Everything I ever feared came true on a single day in April and it happened because I assumed it would.

As I walked into work today, I realized that people beam when they see me. That only happens when I'm beaming at them. I have a new sense of faith that I've never, EVER, experienced before. And it isn't a faith in a god or an idea or an idol. It's faith in myself.

Now don't worry. I haven't turned soft on you. I'm confident in myself and I'm mad about it. It's amazing. It's this aggressive desire to make people understand how awesome I can be. Chances are, if you're my friend, you already know that.

I've always prided myself on being humble. But that humbleness became humility, and that humility became self-hate. As I write this, I weap, but not because I fear or pine for a better life, but because for the first time in my life I really know I can do it.

Friends of Davey Jones is back. And it's going to be on stage very soon.

13 comments:

Mike said...

Hot damn! I'm glad to see you're back. I'm also glad to see your back. It's very muscular.

Keep up the good work - it's about time you realized that when everyone applauds your talent, it's genuine. Here here!

Gabe said...

BETTER BELIEVE!!!

Kath said...

don't forget: we love the bitter, self-loathing Gabe, too and I don't think you could lose that no matter how hard you try. it's a fine line you've always walked ... b/t pompousness and fear. yes, people adore you. but you don't have to change for that to happen. it's nothing new, my friend.

Amanda said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Amanda said...

What I MEANT to say was...

Welcome back, to the Gabe who used to be sad
Welcome back, to the Gabe we do not think is fat
Where the Gabes haven't changed since you've hung around*
And the Gabe is the Gabe that we laughed about
Who'd-a thought of pizza
Outside with Dennis Farina
Well we tease him a lot 'cause he is a big fat twat welcome back.
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.
Welcome back, welcome back WELCOME BAAAACK.


*"You" = your nutsac

Paul said...

His blog is back and it's better than before . . .hey nah . . .hey nah.

Gabe said...

I'm a superhero baby:

GABE A-AAAAAAAAh
Savior of the Universe
GABE
He save everyone of us
GABE
He's a miracle
GABE
King of the impossible

He's for everyone of us
Stand for everyone of us
He save with a mighty hand
Every man every woman
Every chill-he's a mighty
GABE

Just a man
With a man's courage
Nothing but a man
But he can never fail
No-one but the pure at heart
May find the Golden Grail

Timothy said...

you're funnier than butter on a priest. i am a friend who knows. or i'm a nobody. or i'm both.

Gabe said...

Nobody's a nobody on MY WATCH!!!

Hackett said...

Yea, that's just f-in great. I committed eSuicide in the comments of you last post. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ENJOY THIS?!?

Gabe said...

We can rebuild you. We have the technology. You are now Bionic Hackett.

Anonymous said...

You toy with my emotions, young Silva. Not sure what's going on, you've gone all fat-free, organic and herbal douche on me, but I've always believed in lending oneself a hand and indulging in some self-love. Hope you're well. -M

Foxy said...

You are a crack head. Glad to see you are back.