Monday, September 22, 2008

When will he be loved?

The extremely creepy fifty-ish gay gentleman who frequents the gym I go to spends the precious time between workouts materializing out of thin air like a fucking vampire in front of men with whom he then awkwardly flirts. It's like watching a gay Nightcrawler. From the X-Men. Not a giant worm. But he creeps me out like a giant worm would. I bet he'd like to show me his giant worm. Anyway, this fellow had an odd exchange with one of the maintenance people today:

(The maintenance GUY is cleaning out a particularly filthy locker)

GAY DUDE: (appearing out of the shadows, TOTALLY NUDE by the way) You know, you should ask for a raise.

GUY: (shrugging slightly, chuckling) Yeah, THAT'D go over well.

GAY DUDE: (laughing in a manner disproportionate to the quality of that quip) HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAAAAAAA!!! That was FUNNY! "THAT'D go over well." HAHHAHAHHAAHAAAAA....

The gay dude then ate his face.

Unless I'm totally wrong, sarcastically saying "that'd go over well" is neither a new joke nor particularly funny. Oh, wait. He's a creepy old SAD AND LONELY gay dude. That explains everything.

And speaking of explaining everything, I was wondering why there was a police state outside my office building today. My boss informed me that Iranian president I'm-a-dinner-jacket is around. Creeping. In the shadows. With the gay dude.


Hackett said...

"I REALLY wanna be YOUR friend."

Paul said...

I'm a dinner jacket? I'm told that started on "The View". Since when are you watching Barbara Walters and her lackies?

Gabe said...

You know, to my credit, I arrived at that joke on my own and discovered everyone else on the planet thought of it too. So, what I'm saying is that I'm less funny than Joy Behar.