Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Juggling chainsaws

I don't recommend looking for an apartment and a job at the same time. Especially when using for the latter. It's like a reverse search engine. It gives me perfect listings of jobs I'm either not qualified for or don't want. And it doesn't seem to have a middle ground between titles. You're either vying for "Chief Grand Marshall of Internal and External Operations for all of Eastern Pennsyltucky" or "car experience necessary." I don't like it too much.

Also, what is it with America's fascination with cliches and "buzzwords?" Are folks so bereft of imagination that as soon as some dildo concocts a cute phrase or term, everybody's using it? Right now, it's "bailout." Everybody's getting bailed out, or wants a bailout, or is asking for a bailout. "Journalists" are applying it to incongruous stories and I'm sure somewhere there's a terrible poet talking about "emotional bailout." Put these words down. They're not for you. They are, as Carlin used to say, lazy language. Like "downsizing." For awhile there, everyone and everything was being downsized (in fact, spellcheck doesn't even highlight that word). I don't mind the words themselves. What I dislike is how they exemplify the rabidly and rapidly virulent nature of pop culture. When something gets popular, it spreads like wildfire (he wrote, using a cliche) and everyone uses and misuses the phrase or word until it becomes a totally benign collection of letters. These words are the Hollywood stars of language. They wait for fame, they are wildly popular for a year or two, and then they end up burnt-out hulks at the bottom of a river somewhere. Can you imagine saying "Where's the beef" to someone today? They'd slap you in your stupid face. Because that phrase is done. It's over.

And speaking of virulent, doesn't it anger anyone else that the strongest trend in commercial advertising right now is "viral videos?" These people are actually using terminology reserved for ILLNESS as a viable marketing strategy. In essence, they want you to get infected by their campaign. When exactly did the public decide that not only would the nefarious machinations of advertising companies NOT be hidden from them, but they'd actually EMBRACE the cold, calculated indoctrination of materialism? So, now we LIKE this shit? I think it was in the book Fast Food Nation in which internal memos from the McDonalds corporation were printed illustrating their meticulously laid out plans to lure children into addiction to their product. It seems like nowadays, advertising companies are screaming from the hilltops "we're here to fuck you, folks" and we're lining up to take it.

I really really really need a job.


mugwatch said...


d.w. said...

I was just trying to imagine saying "Where's the beef?" to someone and I can't stop laughing.

"Where's the beef?" And then he's like, "wha?"

So silly.

Anonymous said...

two things: one you used rabidly and rapidly in the same sentence separated by an "and" it blew my mind. seriously it turned my brain into shit.

and the second thing is what's really sad is that "where's the beef?" is something that idiots would applaud now because it's supposed trendy and chic and ironic to be nostaligic for shit from 20 years ago. but if you said some shitty catchphrase from 8-10 years ago well then you'd be slapped silly. i'll stop rambling now.

jason said...

Happy birthday. Where's your bailout? I got yer bailout right here!