Friday, May 28, 2010

Indianapolis: Greek God of Indians

We find ourselves somewhere between Akron and Columbus Ohio at the moment on a trip to Indianapolis. Akron, it should be noticed, shares a lot in common with my hometown of Bangor, Pennsylvania in that they are both towns in which absolutely nothing ever happened. After we mistakenly drove through a particularly bad section of Akron, I couldn't help but think there'd be a high crime rate in the town if anybody actually lived there. Despite the ubiquitous economic depression here, the local newspaper seems surprisingly left-wing. I suppose that's one of the reasons this state is so confounding around election time.

One of the pleasant discoveries we've made (well, that I've made...Mandy and her friend Cris have known about them for some time) is a series of quick-marts called "Sheets." Their signature novelty is an express deli system they've dubbed "MTO," which stands for "made to order," though we came up with alternate meanings:
My Testicle Odor
Mike's Tremendous Orgasm
Mis-Tentacled Octopus
My Toaster's Off

And so on. Anyway, more to come from Indianapolis and Sunday's Indy 500.


Hackett said...

Sheets are why i drive. Period.

Gabe said...

I know! It's a wonderful, processed food oasis.

Anonymous said...

Bing! That's the sound of you being eliminated from the scripps national spelling bee.

It's spelled Sheetz, idiot, just like it sounds.


Gabe said...

Yeah, I was called out on that by one of the Kain sisters. I was unaware that this quick mart was "extreme."

Anonymous said...

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