Tuesday, September 13, 2011

My obsession with awful television knows no bounds

The fact that I can find no references to the fact that Bachelor Pad 2's delusional villain Kasey sounds an awful lot like Meatwad should be seen as a sign of the further decline of our civilization. Last night he attempted to draw sympathy from a studio audience when he revealed that he suffered from a speech impediment. He neglected to mention that he exacerbates the effects of his unfortunate disease by gargling every day with two and a half cups of buttermilk.

My favorite of Kasey's verbal atrocities?

"It's beating...it's throbbing...you know what that means? It's guard and protect time. Are you ready?"

"I want to punch him across the face and say 'that's for America.'"

So, here in the afterglow of Bachelor Pad 2, I raise my glass of buttermilk to you, Kasey. Oh, and when you predicted victory on the final challenge, a hundred foot vertical climb, because you're "witty...." Well...I'm not sure you know what words mean. But, you'll be missed. Take it from your voicesake:

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