Friday, February 15, 2008

FTD = Fucking Total Disaster

Hey, here's a tip: if you want fresh flowers delivered to the destination of your choice, AVOID USING FTD AT ALL costs. It would be more satisfying (and quicker) to go pick wild flowers in Tuscany and then shove them up your own ass. Ugh, these people DISGUST me. I understand that yesterday was a big holiday for them and they get swamped. Well, so does every other company that delivers flowers on Valentine's Day. DO WHAT FLOWERS.COM DOES AND SIMPLY REJECT ORDERS YOU CAN'T FILL, FTD. FTD has "same day delivery available" all over the fucking place and you pay a king's ransom to have it done. And if you want to check your order status? Simply call 1-800-SEND-FTD and be told that "due to the holiday rush" they're unable to connect you to a customer service representative. Why not try online? Mmmmmmmmok. Simply type in your order number and get ABSOLUTELY NO RESPONSE regardless of how many times you send it. Then, when you've decided that you'd rather see a bouquet of dead children than see a flower again, use the handy "Cancel Order" option on the Customer Service page. Now, you will get a reply INSTANTLY and you will be told that your order CAN'T be canceled because it's on the way to be delivered, even though you are in constant contact with the recipient who assures you that there isn't a fucking flower within a four mile radius of their location.

FTD is a bullshit company chock filled with cowards. Their answer to the holiday rush is completely shutting down customer service? Really? Just ignore the angry callers and bully them into paying for a product that shows up two days late? When I initially tried Flowers.com for my order, they wouldn't let me order anything for the 14th because they knew they couldn't fill the order. BUT, even during the Christmas holiday, when I used Flowers.com they phoned me IMMEDIATELY when there was a problem and we worked it out between us. FTD decides that they can't handle that and that they must throw everybody off the phone and send bullshit automated replies.

I can't remember the name of the movie I just saw that where a character says "if the customer is happy, they'll tell three people. If the customer is unhappy, they'll tell ten." Well, consider this my telling ten people. Don't use these lying cunts for any of your holiday shopping. It'd be easier to buy the flowers and take them to your loved one yourself.

4 comments:

mugwatch said...

I believe it's the thought that counts. That prolly doesn't get you your money back though. *hangs head in shame*

Mike said...

Yeah, what gives? I STILL haven't received those flowers.

d.w. said...

Are there actually 10 people who read this blog? Wow, I grossly underestimated.

Hackett said...

I ordered a bouqet of Bird of Paradise...es, leaving a note about how much i know she's love those flowers. Then i get a call from her thanking me and i made some comment about the type of flower to which she replied, "...hmph?" Yeah,not at all what i ordered. Ruined the whole "Look how observant i am" deal i had going. Sure, the flowers are out of season, but i'm not a Doctor of Flowerology. Yet, i was allowed to order them and got absolutely no indication that it wou;d be replaced with something else. Oh, and then 3 days later i got a call from FTD saying they're sorry the flowers haven't been delivered, but there was an address discrepency. Idiots! I would have called back, but didn't have the stamina. F FTD!